I Was Prepared

After we moved into our house the kids, Josh and Nicky attended the ward christmas party. I was unable to attend because I had to work that night. Lexi had a few girls over to spend the night and they went with them to the party. There was a girl in the ward with down syndrome and she attached herself to our little family and loved being with Lexi and the girls. Josh had made the comment that we were going to take her home with us that night and she got really excited. Josh then asked her mom if it was o.k. if she came to our home and spent the night with Lexi and the other girls. Her mom was a little hesitant at first, but then she obliged and let her come over. Lexi is really good with others and she showed this girl the same amount of love as she did her friends that were over here that night. She definitely has a gift when it comes to helping others that have a disability or who have special needs. She doesn't discriminate against anybody and is truly loving to all. This girl was so excited to come and stay over. This was the FIRST time that she had ever been invited to sleep over at another house and she was so excited that she was able to come. Everyone had a great time and I think that this girl was the happiest girl in town that night to be able to stay over at a friends house and to be invited and feel like she was part of the group.

We saw this girl a few weeks later at church and she was so excited to see us and was so happy. The following week at church we received some horrible news. We found out that this girl had passed away that morning. She was only 13 years old and she had passed away. You can read her obituary here.

This girls passing got me thinking about a few things. Lexi is 11 years old and one of her friends has died. Even though she had only met her a few weeks earlier, she was still a friend and she had been in our home and our feelings toward her were feelings of love. We were hoping to be able to spend more time with her and get to know her better. She had a wonderful spirit and she definitely was a special girl. It then took me to thinking about when I was 11 years old and I had a close friend pass away.

Amy had just turned 12 in February and had suffered from juvenile diabetes all her life. She knew how to control it and what she needed to do. She was a vibrant, happy, fun to be around girl. I grew up with her and had a great friendship with her. (o.k. it was a typical 'GIRL' relationship between tween's). In March, after her 12th birthday, she got really sick and was hospitalized and put on life support. She passed away a few days later. It was really hard for my 6th grade class to have a close friend pass away. Our whole class sang at her funeral. But I remember those feelings. I remember how I felt and I remember what happened. I went through the same experience that Lexi is going through. I was prepared as a young girl to help my own daughter many years later who would go through the same experience. I hope that she doesn't have to go through all of the same experiences I went through, but I was prepared as a young girl to help her.

It was also this friend that passed away who her parent donated her organs and where I first learned about organ donation. Amy's mom had given us a book that was a collection of papers, poems, journal entries and so on that had been Amy's. Some of the papers in the book were letters from people who had received Amy's organs. One of them was a lady who had received her kidney. My first introduction to kidney donation. When I was a young girl I had the experience of seeing a family go through the experience of donating their loved ones organs and seeing how difficult that was and then reading the letter from the recipient and see how happy and thankful they were. For the family of the loved one to have that letter meant a lot. It helped them to see how their loved one helped somebody else. Then many years later to experience being the mother of a kidney recipient. To know how thankful that family felt when they received that precious gift and to be able to express those feelings to that donor family. I was prepared.

Many times we go through experiences that we don't understand. We don't like them. We don't want them. We don't understand anything about them. We know that we have to go through them and a lot of times it is not by choice. But we go through them. We can choose our attitude. We can choose if we are happy or we can choose if we want to negative and unhappy. But HOW we go through them is our choice. I didn't understand why as a 11 year old girl I had to experience my friend dying but I am glad that I had the experience so that I could help my own daughter many years later. I do not like the fact that I had to see my son suffer so much and go through so much in his younger years, but I know that there will be a point in my life where I will be able to draw from that and help others and teach others about that experience. It wasn't always fun and it wasn't always easy. It was down right hard at times, but I didn't let it get me down. I don't think I was every bitter or negative. I didn't always like it, but I don't think I ever showed it. I always thought that if I wasn't strong then how could my child be strong. I needed to be HIS example. I needed to show him that no matter what happens I am always there and I am always in his corner and I am not going to let situations get the best of me.

We have a great example to look to. We have the scriptures full of great role models. We have wonderful, strong women to look to in the scriptures who can teach us many things. We have a Savior who can teach us so much if we only TRULY take what he teaches us and apply it to our lives. That is how we prepare. We have parents who teach us. If it wasn't for my mom helping me through that time when I was a young 11 year old girl I would not have known how a mom was suppose to help. I remember her letting me cry on her shoulder. I remember her walking into that classroom, crying and telling us that Amy had passed away and how she was there to comfort us. It wasn't easy for her to have a dear friends daughter pass away and a former student pass away and a daughter's friend pass away. She prepared me.

This post didn't go in the direction that I had wanted it to in the beginning, but it went where it needed to go in the end.

I hope that we will all be prepared for things and that we take those teaching from many different sources in our lives and be prepared. You never know when you are going to be needing those teachings and those lessons in your lives. Don't stop them from happening. They happen for a reason.