New Beginnings

Over the past few days I have been thinking about this new year that is upon us and looking back at this past year and finding myself longing for some things to change. I will be starting back to school and I am excited about that. I will be taking a jogging class which will take care of my exercise goals for the new year.

I am going to be starting a new blog that will be focusing on my word of the year which will be:

S-I-M-P-L-I-F-Y. I received a book a few years ago with this title from my parents for Mother's Day. Each letter in this word stands for a principle to help care for the soul. It also is putting things into focus for ME on what I feel that I need this next year. I am needing to make things less complicated in our lives both with the clutter at home but also a back to basics attitude with my spirituality and my kids spiritual growth and learning. So that is what this new blog is going to be documenting. I will still keep this blog as a focus on our family but keep it more to the kids and documenting of the daily and weekly things and the fun things that we have been up to. It will be more for family and friends to keep up with our comings and goings.

Plans that I have for this next year for our family to work on is faithful scripture study. I found a book that assists in family scripture study and is geared for all ages. It helps kids think about gospel principles that are being taught and also teaches them and gives them topics to write in a journal about. I am really excited to do this with the kids (mainly me and Lexi and we will see how interested Kayden gets). I bought Kayden some really inexpensive scriptures and a scripture bag. He will also be telling me the things to write down in the journal for him. I feel like this is something that will help me get through to them and be a better mother to them. I feel like this is what is needed to bring the spirit into our home and to have the contention and frustration leave. I also feel like by doing this the boys will be better listeners and will have more respect for me as a mom.

When I first started thinking about going to school I never got the feeling that I would not be able to do it. In fact it was quite the opposite. I received the overwhelming sense of calm and sense that this is what I am suppose to be doing at this time for me and for my family. I read this article in the Ensign and I knew that this is what I needed to do right now and that as I am on this journey the Lord will be there to help me. This is also why I feel that the back to basics attitude and scripture study and daily prayer will assist us in this back to school journey.

This past year was hard. We struggled as a family, as a couple, and I struggled as an individual. I have thought about all that happened and honestly there are things that just blur together and sometimes I feel like 2009 was just skipped over. I remember a lot of things in 2008 but it seems that 2009 just was a blur for the most part. When I received this months Ensign I glanced through it and was drawn to the article written by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland titled "The Best is Yet to Be." I vaguely remember the story about Lot's wife in the Bible and how she was instructed not to look back when they were told to leave the city. As they left the city she disobeyed the Lord and looked back and she was then turned into a pillar of salt. Brother Holland wondered what was so wrong with her looking back and this is his answer. He says that in her looking back she was wanting to go back in her heart. She was longing for something that was no longer. Elder Holland pleaded with us to not dwell on days gone or events gone but to look to the future and what it holds. We need to have faith which is for things in the future not for things in the past. He also is telling us to forgive and forget and to move forward.

I love the story that he tells about a young man who was picked on and was teased. He graduated school and moved away and he became successful. This young man became active in the church again and was very happy. He later returned to the town that he grew up in. He had grown but the town had not. They did not see him for what he was now they only remembered him for what he had been. Overtime that thinking in the town took him right back to where he was before he had left. The whole moral of this is that what happened in the past is in the past. People change and move on and we need to allow them to do that. What happened in the past is just that in the past and we need to be able to forgive and forget and move on.

In everything that happened this past year the one piece of advice that I received from someone is this..... I don't have to explain myself to anybody. I do not have to explain why I made the choice or choices that I made. Those are between me and the Lord and nobody else needs to know anything about them. I made the best decision for me and for my kids. I have had to put things in the past and leave them there. I have had to put things in the past and move on and basically do everything that Brother Holland has said "Let people repent. Let people grow. Believe that people can change and improve.... If something is buried in the past, leave it buried. Don't keep going back with your little sand pail and beach shovel to dig it up, wave it around, and then throw it at someone..."

This is why I am so excited for the New Year. I am excited for the possibilities that lie ahead. For the opportunities that we have ahead of us.