Moving On

Life brings change. Change is good, when we get complacent it means that we are not evolving and learning. Sometimes it makes us see that we really can do things that we never thought that we would be able to do. I was always nervous that we would not be able to afford things in our house if we ever had to do it on our own, but because of circumstances that happened we are now facing that prospect and when we sit down and look at things it seems that everything will work out for us to be able to do just that. I know that because we have been faithful and obedient in paying our tithes and through faith that things will work out for us.

Many times we are faced with things that we may not want to have to face. It is scary and frightening. We think that everyone is looking at us and passing judgement. I know that there are times that when I have to go to work that I feel like people are thinking I'm a bad mom because I am not at home and taking care of my kids. I think that people look at what I am wearing and say to themselves that I am not dressed according to their standards or that I look hideous and fat in certain things and they don't want anything to do with me. But then I sit back and think, do I judge people that way and look at people the way that I look at myself. No, I honestly do not. I do not look at people and say that they are ugly or they are fat or they do not meet my standards because they don't dress the way I do. I don't think that I can't be around them because they are fat or ugly or not dressed to my expectations. I do not want to be that kind of person. I do not want to look at others that way because I do not want others to think of me that way. That is the type of person that I do not want to be around.

Are there some things that people do that make it so that I don't want to be around them. Yes. Sometimes am I around them, Yes. I have many friends who smoke and drink. I will talk with them and there are times when I have my kids with me and we talk to them while they are smoking. Is this bad, No. It is a way for me to teach my kids that people can be good people and make bad decisions. There are times when these bad decisions have consequences that they have no control over. If I choose to not send my kids with someone in a car because the person smokes and will smoke in the car with them then I do have that choice and I am responsible for things that happen to my kids. I don't want to have them live in a bubble, but I can choose what they are exposed to and what they aren't exposed to.

When I was growing up I had an Uncle who made some bad choices. We were told by my parents that we love him because he is a member of our family. We didn't agree with the choices that he has made and we didn't support the choices that he made, but we still loved him and prayed for him.

There are times, however, when our choices affect more than just us. There is a ripple effect that can happen. Yes our choices affect us, but they affect our family members which can affect the people who they associate with and who they work with and so on.

I personally feel like I have to protect my family first and foremost. I have to surround them with people that I feel are good examples for them. I need to teach them how to discern right from wrong, good from bad. I need to teach them that we all make mistakes and that even when we make mistakes we are given the opportunity to repent and be forgiven. Being forgiven doesn't always mean that we will forget everything that happened and how we felt. Sometimes we will still have that pain and that anxiety over things. Those things are there as a warning and a caution sign to proceed with things cautiously until we know that things are o.k.. We need to heed those warning signs and listen to them. If we feel like things are not right then we need to stand up and do something. Sometimes that is the hardest thing to do even when you have others that are telling you differently. There are times when you need to stand strong and stand up for what you know is right.

As I have been writing this I have had two different things come to my mind. I have thought about the talk given in General Conference this past April by President Jeffrey R. Holland called "The Laborers". Read it. Enjoy all that Brother Holland has to say in that. It applies to many different situations.

The second one is the parable of The Prodigal Son in Luke 15:11-32. Jesus teaches about a man who has two sons. One son is given his inheritance and goes and spends it and lives a rebellious life and the other son stays at home with his father and works hard and lives a righteous life. When the younger son comes home and the father throws a big party for him and welcomes him home as if nothing wrong ever happened, the older son gets upset and asks the father why he did this and that it wasn't fair that he lives a righteous life and the younger son who lived a rebellious son gets a party thrown for him. The father tells the older son, I still love you and you will be given all that I have. It is necessary for us to be happy that he is home and that he is alive and not dead. The Lord wants us to find the ONE. The other 99 are already here but we need to find the ONE. Sometimes that ONE is a member of our own family. We have been blessed because of our choices to stay strong and live righteous lives. Others in our family are not so lucky. When someone in our family has strayed and comes back we should be happy and we should rejoice. We should give thanks to our Heavenly Father and if we are one of the 99 that never left we should not be upset or angry. As Elder Holland says "We are not in a race against each other to see who is the wealthiest or the most talented or the most beautiful or even the most blessed." I am going to add we are not in a race to see who is the most righteous either. This is where envy will come in and bite us in the butt along with jealousy, selfishness and pride. We are not any better than the ONE and the Lord does not look at us that way. In fact he looks at us in a completely different way.

Because of recent events I think that there are some things that I do need to be cautious of. There are some choices that others have made that I have not been completely happy with and I do not agree with those choices. As long as they continue to make those choices there are some choices that I have to make for my family that they may not completely agree with and those choices are hard choices for me to make. I hate having to choose. I think also sometimes it is harder for me to choose when it is happening to my immediate family and it isn't as hard for me to choose when it is happening to my husbands family. But I have to remember that it doesn't matter if it is my immediate family or if it is my in-laws they are all my family and it affects my husband (when it is his family) and it affects my kids because of their cousins and aunts and uncles on both sides.

Just know that I do not think that I am not perfect. I make mistakes and I make them often. There are always things that I can improve on and make better in my life. There are relationships that I should improve on but don't know where to start. There are things spiritually in my life that I need to be doing better. I am not perfect. But nobody else is either. If anybody was perfect they wouldn't be here but they would be translated up to heaven. We all have something that we can learn from. We all have judgements on others that we need to stop. We all have family that we can be nicer to. We all have brothers and sisters that need our love no matter what happens. Do our family members make mistakes, HECK YES. Are these mistakes something that we should just forget tomorrow, HECK NO. But we should be able to forgive then and forget them with time. I want my kids to treat each other with love and consideration. I want them to be understanding and supportive of each other. In order for my kids to do that I need to be an example to them. I need to be better at calling my brother or my sisters. I need to show them that I can love my sisters and my brother regardless of what they have done. I don't need to show them how to persecute them and condemn them and say bad things about them. Are there times when sometimes that happens, yes, but I need to be adult enough to show them how to correct the wrong and make things right. I need to show them how to be mature and apologize for any misgivings that I have shown them and hope that the other person is mature enough to recognize what they have done wrong also. Many times the best thing is to not be selfish and think that everything is about me when it isn't about me and when I start to think that it is about me that is when the problem begins.

I have so much going on in my thoughts right now that I have probably rambled on and things don't make any sense. Sorry. To each his own though.