Why is it that the people who don't want you to tell them what they should do or how to do things are the first people to criticize you and expect you to do what they think you should do. Right now I am really struggling with that.
I was told recently that someone thought that I was a bad parent and that I don't really care about my kids because I send them to a babysitter and I am not home with them during the day. I am going to lay the facts out on the table right here. I would love more than anything to be able to stay at home but right now that is impossible. We made $29,000 last year and I brought home $25,000 of that. I am the one that has the benefits which we desperately need. So I am not willing to sacrifice and live on $5000 for the whole entire year. I have accepted the fact that I am going to have to work and I am ok with that and I am tired of being looked at as a bad parent because I am ok with that fact.
I am going to school so that I can better myself and provide more for my kids in the future. Yes it is going to take some time for me to get through school and in some ways I wish I had gone to school earlier, but also there is no way that I could have gone to school any earlier because of Kayden's issues and because of my kids. I have prayed about going to school and have really thought about it and I know that NOW is the time. Kayden will be starting school next year and Koy will be shortly behind him so I will be able to make some changes and be able to focus on my schooling. I am not having any more kids. I am perfectly content with how many I have which is another reason why NOW is the time.
I am not the perfect parent, but my kids aren't the perfect children either. My boys are little boys through and through. They fight, they play, they get into things and they do everything that they are not suppose to. I do my best to teach them what they are suppose to do and hopefully some day it will sink in. My daughter is a big help and she does a lot with the boys and she herself has her drama queen moments. I love each one of them dearly but they are each different with their own personality and as Nicky can verify.....there is NO other KOY! He is a one in a million and he is a handful at times but he can be the best kid ever and the biggest help ever and he is the worst listener and the biggest bully. I at least know that he is a bully and I am trying my hardest to change that. Koy is also the biggest lover boy. He will go up and hug anyone. We were in the Social Security office (which is nasty and gross and the people smell really bad there) and he goes up and starts hugging people. He of course was scolded and told he can't walk up to strangers and start hugging them. I have my work cut out for me and I am doing the best that I can with what I have.
No parent is perfect and no matter how good you think you are doing something will always happen and put you back in your place. You simply do what you can and rely on the Lord to help you and guide your children.
I was talking with Nancy lastnight, and it was good no drama there right now, but she was talking about choices and trials and I told her my opinion which is this.... Before we came to earth we knew that we would have trials, I don't know if we knew what those trials were or not but we knew we would be tested. We weren't told to go and choose our trials like at a buffet, but we trusted our Heavenly Father and agreed to go to earth and endure trials. The trials we have are to help us become who Heavenly Father KNOWS that we CAN become. He allows to go through our trials for our benefit not for his. He is there to help us and give us the strength that he knows we need in order to endure the trials. He is stretching and molding us into perfection through trials that only we can suffer for some reason only known to Him. What may be Nancy's biggest trial may seem easy to me and what may be my biggest trial may seem easy to her, but it doesn't minimize the fact that the trials are for us individually and only we can endure through them and mold to how the Lord wants ME to become. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone else, but it makes sense to me. This also ties back to the beginning in that we should not judge others because we will never know the full extent of what they are dealing with.
I am done with my rant for the time being since Kayden and Koy and myself need to eat some food.
2 comments:
I think you put it wonderfully. We were talking about trials the other day at lunch and we said basically the same thing. We didn't say "I'll take this, or that." We have the trials we have because of other's choices, our choices, consequences, or whatever. I'm not even sure the Lord "gives" us our trials, but lets us experience them. A diamond can't become a diamond until the rock is under extreme pressure. Gold can't be refined until it is under extreme heat. We can't become our full potential until we are tried and tested and find what our weak points may be. Then, with our Father in Heaven's help, we can strengthen those weak points and become stronger. For the people who are expressing their own opinions on you, they just haven't had the same experiences you have had. We each do the best we can. They don't have the agency to make your decisions. Their trials will come in other ways. One of their greatest trials is likely to be to learn to not pass judgement on other. You are doing a great job and your kids are wonderful, normal kids.
all I have to say is.. AMEN!! and about Koy.. WOW! You can think that you have everything up high enough so that kid can get it.. but that kid will find a way to get it. He sure is one of a kind, but you said it perfectly. He is the biggest lover boy. I love sitting on the couch and him sitting by me and putting his head on my shoulder. Lexi is a HUGE help and those boys will listen to her when they won't listen to anyone else. Kayden sometimes goes with the flow and it gets him into trouble and then sometimes he starts it. But each one has their own personality and you take them as they are.
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