This is VERY RELIGIOUS.

This past week I have felt so many different emotions. It started out on a down side due to having not received a letter from Josh and then Josh's dad deciding to take advantage of Josh being gone and calling me and making me feel even worse. Then on Wednesday everything changed.

On Wednesday I not only received one letter from Josh I received 2 letters from Josh. The first one he was pretty down because he was told he couldn't have any visitors the whole time that he is there and he was pretty upset about that. He was also nervous because he was told they may take him off of his meds. They didn't know at that point if they were definately going to because of his suicide attempts. He said that he went to bed that night and just sobbed for hours and he prayed harder than he ever has in life even harder than when he was on his mission.

The next letter I got he was feeling much better. I am going to quote what he wrote in his letter. "I wanted to tell you about the comforter that I know that Christ has put over me, and I hope on you and the kids. I have cried every night as I prayed for the preservation of our family and our souls through the Atonement of Christ. I believe now!! I want to go to church with my family and be touched by his spirit and have my children witness it. There ahs been a huge change in the desire for my own soul that I never experience even on my mission.......Also, I would like you to call President Clegg (his mission president) and tell him of all our difficulties since Kayden's birth and ask him to write to me. I've felt this also frim the Spirit....I now have a more desire to read the Book of Mormon and the other works. I can't wait to start reading them with you guys again."

In this letter he had circled the word call so I knew that he really wanted me to do this. I decided that night that I would call President Clegg and give him Josh's information. When I talked to President Clegg I told him of what has gone on and gave him Josh's information. He then told me that he felt impressed by the Holy Ghost to tell me something. He told me that none of this is my fault and that Heavenly Father knows this and Heavenly Father is aware of this and Heavenly Father loves me very much and if anybody ever tells me any different then they are listening to Satan and they are not listening to Heavenly Father but listening to Satan. He said that it was important for me to know that he felt prompted by the Holy Ghost to tell me this. During this conversation I felt Heavenly Fathers spirit and it confirmed to me that what he was telling me was true. Especially when he was taking about those listening to Satan. I had not told President Clegg about Josh's dad calling me but he knew because of the Holy Ghost and Heavenly Father. It also confirmed to me that Josh was inspired to have me call and talk to him. Heavenly Father inspired him to have me call him so that President Clegg could tell me this. It truly was a confirmation to me that Heavenly Father is aware of every single thing that will happen in our lives and he will be there to help us if we are willing to listen. I knew that if Josh wanted to talk to President Clegg something must be going on because up until now he hasn't wanted to talk to him, in my opinion because he doesn't want to disappoint someone that he has so much respect for. When I was talking to Presiden Clegg and after I had read a little bit of the letter to him he said, "Well now all we need to do is get Josh to study the scriptures." This starts the next letter.

I received a letter today that was really good. This is what he wrote, and he hasn't gotten any of my letters yet and doesn't know what I talked to President Clegg about. "I've decided to stop reading novels and dedicate all my reading time to the Book of Mormon. I've also been working out regularly with my cell mate Don. He's a black dude that is 39 years old and has 4 boys from 5 months to 12 years of ge. He's a good guy with whom I've already had quite a few crying sessions. I taught him how to pray and we pray for each others families every night. I've also got him interested in reading the Book of Mormon....Also, could you go to the Temple and put our families name on the prayer roll. I can't wait to go with you to the Temple again." This hit me hard because until now he has really cared less if he has a Temple recommend or not. He has always felt unworthy of a Temple recommend even at times when he is worthy he judges himself a lot harder than he should.

I have prayed regularly for Josh to have a softening of heart for a long time and I feel like he is having one. I get nervous because I don't want him to be doing this for me I want him to be doing this for himself and so far it looks like he is because he is the one that is wanting to read the Book of Mormon and he isn't doing it because I told him to. In fact in the past when I have suggested for him to read the scriptures he has shrugged it off. I even bought him a pocket Book of Mormon and he hasn't even opened it and it has sat there for over a year.

My testimony has truly increased this past week in the power of prayer. It truly has blessed my life this last week and I know that Heavenly Father hears my prayers and my husbands prayers. I hope that Josh will be able to see that when he gets my letter.