No Regrets

When we decided to move up here, I did what I needed to do at the time and find a job. We needed money coming in so that we could pay bills and so on. We didn't know how long it would take for Josh to find a job and so if I found a job then we could at least get up here and then make additional decisions from there. That was the initial step. I didn't like the idea of going to work, but I knew taht this is what we needed to do. Things started falling into place and we knew that we had made the right decision at the time. In the back of my mind I knew that I needed to be at home but with Josh not having a job yet I thought that at least they would be home with him.

In the Ensign that month, June, there was an article by President Henry B. Eyring titled "Safety in Council" there was one thing that really struck me at the time and it was this:

"In our own time we have been warned with counsel on where to find safety from sin and from sorrow. One of the keys to recognizing those warnings is that they are repeated. For instance, more than once in general conferences, you have heard our prophet say that he would quote a preceding prophet and would therefore be a second witness and sometimes even a third. Each of us old enough to listen heard President Spencer W. Kimball (1895–1985) give counsel on the importance of a mother in the home and then heard President Ezra Taft Benson (1899–1994) quote him, and we have heard President Gordon B. Hinckley (1910–2008) quote them both."

I thought about that everyday after I read it knowing that I had to go to work. That the only way that things would work for us was that I would have to work. I had prepared myself, so I thought, for having to work and relying on the Lord to direct me in finding care for my kids.

I had a good job at IHC and we had a babysitter that was wonderful for what we needed at the time. Well, my babysitter decided that she needed to go to school, not college mind you, Jr. High! She was a great babysitter and did a great job and was great with the kids and they loved Charity. So I had to find a new place for my kids and I was prepared to send them to a Daycare. When I started to call around and get quotes on how much it would be I about died. The cheapest one that I could find charged $500 for Koy, because he is not potty trained, and $475 for Kayden and he is potty trained. This was a total of $975 per month!

We qualified for some help form the state because Kayden is considered disabled so I filled out all the paper work that was required and then submitted it to Workforce Services for them to process. Well, after allowing them time to process things, I hadn't heard anything so I called them up to find out the status and nobody had done anything on it yet and I needed to know what they would help us with since I needed a place for my kids in 3 days. They started working on it and then their program had some bugs. After 2 days of calling them and working with the programmers they finally got it worked out and we qualfied for $100 worth of assistance. I had to pay the remaining. They also couldn't give me an amount for September because they needed to know how much Josh would be making with his commission. The problem with that is that we don't know what he is going to be making on his commission every month so I was pretty sure that we weren't going to be getting anything for September and that I would have to pay the full $975. this whole week in dealing with them I had a feeling that it isn't going to be worth it. I only make $1400 after taxes and I would only be bringing home $400 a month, not per paycheck, but per month. I would basically be paying for somebody to watch my kids. It was not worth it to me at all.

Josh and I talked it over and prayed about it and I had been thinking about this for weeks. We really looked at things and decided that it would be best if I quit to stay home with the kids and try and get on at Walmart or some place that I could work nights and weekends and Josh could be home with the kids. Josh gets insurance through is work and has a ton of opportunities for advancement and he really loves his job. I said o.k. and went in yesterday morning and told them that I could not stay. I hated leaving them and I loved working there and I loved what I did and I hope to be able to go back someday, but right now is just not the time. So I left my good job yesterday. When I left I remember said to myself "I am putting my Faith in the Lord right now that he is right that everything will work out for us and will be relying on Him for guidance."

I left work and came home and filled out an application online for Walmart and they called me an hour and a half after I had submitted it online and asked me for an interview and scheduled one for today. Well, I went in for the interview and they offered me the job right then as a cashier. I am not making as much as I was at IHC but only by $2.00/hr, but I don't have to pay for a babysitter and I am only working evening, nights and weekends and I get to be home with my kids during the day. I only went 24 hours without a job.

I read this yesterday out of the July Ensign by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf (whom I love). His article is about "Heeding the Voice of the Prophets":

"There may be times when we feel overwhelmed, hurt, or on the edge of discouragement as we are trying so hard to be perfect members of the Church. Be assured, there is balm in Gilead. Let us listen to the prophets of our day as they help us to focus on the things that are central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children. The Lord knows us, He loves us, He wants us to succeed, and He encourages us by saying: “And see that all … things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that [men or women] should run faster than [they have] strength. … [But] it is expedient that [they] should be diligent” (Mosiah 4:27)."

When I read this I was actually trying to find the previous quote but read this article instead. It talked about how if we strive to follow what the prophets tell us to do then we will be blessed in our efforts and the Lord will help us. I followed a prompting that I had been having for weeks. But so far the blessings have already begun.

I am also really concerned about Kayden and his weight and other issues with him. I didn't want to put him in a daycare because of his immune system being low and daycares are so germy. I know he has to go to pre-school but that is only for a few hours and at this point he will only be going for 2 days a week. Kayden lost 1 pound when he went to clinic last and he isn't eating very good right now. He won't even eat half of an eggo anymore when he use to eat a whole one. I put him on the scale today and he only weighed 33 pounds and he is almost 4 years old. When you look at him he is starting to look really skinny. So I am afraid that he is going to need to have some additional help in that aspect.