Change of Heart

Forgiveness...what does this mean and how do we get here. I was involved in an activity that I went to and while I was there I had the most uncomfortable feeling. I kept feeling like I was not welcome, that the people there did not want me there, no one talked to me and kept giving me dirty looks and it made me feel like dirt. While this is happening I thought to myself "I hope that I am not like this to other people and if I am I am changing that and I will no longer make others feel the way I am feeling right now." I don't ever want someone else to feel like dirt. I do feel that people can have different point of views and be respected with neither party feeling like dirt.

In our family scripture study we recently read about how Jesus requires that we forgive others. In Mathew 18:22 it states that we need to forgive others "seventy times seven". It also goes on to explain in that same chapter about how a man who had a debt that was owed and it was very large. He approached the person that he owed the debt to and explained that he wasn't in a very good position and that he didn't know if he could pay it back. The man was forgiven of his debt and he was so thankful. This man then approached somebody that owed him a large sum of money and this man wasn't very nice to the person that owed him and wouldn't listen to any explanation and demanded to have the debt paid back to him. This man showed no mercy to this person even though he had just been forgiven of a similar debt. Other people in the community saw how this man treated the person who owed a debt to him and went and told the person that he had owed a debt about the situation and this made the man upset. He approached the person and told him that he had no right to get upset at the person who owed him money when he had just been forgiven of his debt that he had owed. This is similar to how we are with forgiveness.

We are the first to say that we were hurt and demand forgiveness from others or we tell others that they need to forgive and move on, but when it comes us forgiving and moving on we don't do that. I think that is human nature in every one. It is always hard to accept our own faults and to admit that we make mistakes. But if we can do this then we are better people and the type of person that Christ is telling us that we need to be.

I was told by someone that instead of praying that the other person change and become something that I want them to become, maybe I needed to pray to the Lord and ask him to change me so that I will have a change of heart and be the person that the Lord wants me to be. I think about that on a daily basis. I ask the Lord to help me be a better person everyday. I want to have more patience, understanding, love, and tolerance. I have felt a change of heart in a lot of things. I don't feel so bitter towards people and I don't hold a grudge and I don't judge. I have said that I think everyone can have their own opinion and then we move on. I don't hold hard feelings because they feel or believe a certain thing. I will still talk to them and do things with them even though they have a different opinion than I do.

I had an experience where someone called to my work and because of some hard feelings this person had against me, as soon as they heard that it was me that answered the phone they hung up on me. They have called in to my work to see if I am working and if I am not in then they will come in. I do not want to be like this. I do not want to have such hard feelings against someone that I will have nothing to do with them. Have I had feelings like this in the past? Yes, but with the Lord's help I can honestly say that I do not have those same hard feelings that I have had in the past, however because of this latest experience I know that person still has hard feelings against me.

I am striving to be a better person, this is what President Monson wants us to do. I can honestly tell you that with the Lord's help and making sure that I ask the Lord for his help that I have had a change of heart in many things.